Saturday, March 24, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
CONCERTS
April 10 - Hellogoodbye
@ the Croation Cultural Centre
April 24 - Damien Rice
@ the Centre
May 28 - Lacuna Coil
@ the Croation Cultural Centre
featuring: theGathering
@ the Croation Cultural Centre
April 24 - Damien Rice
@ the Centre
May 28 - Lacuna Coil
@ the Croation Cultural Centre
featuring: theGathering
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND
last time on the Super-Duper-Hero saga:
superhero? pfft - i'd much rather be a villain. as i secretly cherish the role of being the guy that people love to hate. so what does eveyone hate? everyone hates mimes! my special powers would include the ability to pantomime the good citizens of [insert ficticious urban name here] and their protectorate guardian 'heros' into feeble submission all whilst obtaining the necessary resources to create my dastardly genius super weapon - 'The Silent Treatment'. the TST takes away the spoken word from innocent and unsuspecting victims, forcing them to 'charade' in order to communicate which incites chaos and riots everyhwere. it's pure evil muhaha.
(Ben)
whatever will the good citizens of [insert ficticious urban name here] do?! the delicate balance between good and evil has been tipped. fear not! for there is showtune girl and her trusty side kick, opera boy. together they fight the helter-skelter of mime man with glam-style chorus' and shrill arias and a whole riverdance troup to back them up. mime man has no choice but to retreat to a sound proof room with an ensemble of munchkins, singin something about deer, in his wake. o the horror! must re-group, re-think. what will mime man do next? ah ha! the TST! but unbeknownst to him, showtune girl has already sabataged his evil genius mechanism with her very own super-duper-evil-genius-mechanism-counter-measure, her very own TST - 'The Singing Telegram' [overlay dramatic eerie sound effect]. we won't be hearing from mime man any time soon - so to speak. order has been restored, the mayor of [aforementioned ficticious urban name] gives showtune girl the key to the city and a basket of canned lychee in thanx. she curtsied to a standing ovation and then a fat lady sang.
(tunabelly)
Showtune Girl, put up your dukes! I'm not a villain, I'm just misunderstood. It's TV Guy and his reign of terror will begin - after these short messages! Raised by neglectful parents, I was left in front of the television night and day, until I became to love the boob tube, the telly, the wonder box. I was teased at school for watching Days Of Our Lives, Melrose Place, and *gasp* Coronation Street. Now, to exact my revenge on all those reality TV haters, I have turned into TV GUY! As TV Guy, I will broadcast hour upon hours of addictive television programming. I will have the entire city of [insert ficticious urban name here] in such a brainwashed state that the only thing they will be able to think about is what's next on their TV schedules! People will skip class and stay home from work just to WATCH TV!!! Yes, it's true! Muuwaaahhhahha! But that's not all! TV Guy will also infiltrate any vehicle that has audio/visual capabilities, and even stream LIVE TELEVISION through the Internet so that all the people who do manage to go to work are doomed to watch TV from their cubicles!! They won't be able to STOP! Soap operas, reality television, comedies, dramas, and in order to deprive people of sleep, TV Guy pulls out his ultimate weapon: THE INFOMERCIAL!! Try and get me now, Showtune Girl! I've got the PBS special "History of Broadway - narrated by Julie Andrews" all cued up, just for you!
(alan)
it doesn't look good for showtune girl. who will come to her rescue? r there no heros left in [insert ficticious urban name here]?
Rising from the chaos left in TV Guy's wake, with the fury of a thousand unread books comes... Culture Shock! Dressed in flowing black cape (crushed velvet of course), leather boots, silken white shirt (bought on sale at Macy's), buccaneer hat (with feather - is there any other kind?) and a mask to conceal his true identity (duh!), Culture Shock fights the misinformed and ignorant with a slight French accent to bring sophistication to the unfortunate masses. Armed only with a finely polished epee (with jeweled hilt - you get the idea) and his unfailing sense of style, he confronts the nefarious, unsavory, and rather unlearned TV Guy.While his attention is focused on rambling in a monologue about his plans for future world domination, Culture Shock installs his secret weapon - an upgraded version of the V-Chip - on TV Guy's own TV! The Culture-Chip or C-Chip only allows responsible, educational and moral programming to be viewed, effectively reducing the possible selections to 3 channels including CPAC, Canada's Political Channel even though it's programming borders on immoral. With his own TV viewing effectively cut off, TV Guy is powerless, being unable to broadcast mind-numbing idiocy to the citizens of F.U.N. (fictitious urban name) City! Well, then again there is still CPAC... Culture Shock locks the stunned TV Guy away with only some of the finest reading material to console him - Dickens, Shakespeare, Hemmingway and Douglas Adams.And what's to become of Showtune Girl? Well, show tunes were never really in style to begin with, and don't particularly add much sophistication to FUN City in Culture Shocks opinion, so she might as well just stay locked up with TV Guy.Protecting the wise, opinionated and well dressed citizens of FUN City, Culture Shock's work is never done. But for today at least, the city is a less garish place to live...
(adrian)
is this the end of showtune girl and tv guy? could it really be?
superhero? pfft - i'd much rather be a villain. as i secretly cherish the role of being the guy that people love to hate. so what does eveyone hate? everyone hates mimes! my special powers would include the ability to pantomime the good citizens of [insert ficticious urban name here] and their protectorate guardian 'heros' into feeble submission all whilst obtaining the necessary resources to create my dastardly genius super weapon - 'The Silent Treatment'. the TST takes away the spoken word from innocent and unsuspecting victims, forcing them to 'charade' in order to communicate which incites chaos and riots everyhwere. it's pure evil muhaha.
(Ben)
whatever will the good citizens of [insert ficticious urban name here] do?! the delicate balance between good and evil has been tipped. fear not! for there is showtune girl and her trusty side kick, opera boy. together they fight the helter-skelter of mime man with glam-style chorus' and shrill arias and a whole riverdance troup to back them up. mime man has no choice but to retreat to a sound proof room with an ensemble of munchkins, singin something about deer, in his wake. o the horror! must re-group, re-think. what will mime man do next? ah ha! the TST! but unbeknownst to him, showtune girl has already sabataged his evil genius mechanism with her very own super-duper-evil-genius-mechanism-counter-measure, her very own TST - 'The Singing Telegram' [overlay dramatic eerie sound effect]. we won't be hearing from mime man any time soon - so to speak. order has been restored, the mayor of [aforementioned ficticious urban name] gives showtune girl the key to the city and a basket of canned lychee in thanx. she curtsied to a standing ovation and then a fat lady sang.
(tunabelly)
Showtune Girl, put up your dukes! I'm not a villain, I'm just misunderstood. It's TV Guy and his reign of terror will begin - after these short messages! Raised by neglectful parents, I was left in front of the television night and day, until I became to love the boob tube, the telly, the wonder box. I was teased at school for watching Days Of Our Lives, Melrose Place, and *gasp* Coronation Street. Now, to exact my revenge on all those reality TV haters, I have turned into TV GUY! As TV Guy, I will broadcast hour upon hours of addictive television programming. I will have the entire city of [insert ficticious urban name here] in such a brainwashed state that the only thing they will be able to think about is what's next on their TV schedules! People will skip class and stay home from work just to WATCH TV!!! Yes, it's true! Muuwaaahhhahha! But that's not all! TV Guy will also infiltrate any vehicle that has audio/visual capabilities, and even stream LIVE TELEVISION through the Internet so that all the people who do manage to go to work are doomed to watch TV from their cubicles!! They won't be able to STOP! Soap operas, reality television, comedies, dramas, and in order to deprive people of sleep, TV Guy pulls out his ultimate weapon: THE INFOMERCIAL!! Try and get me now, Showtune Girl! I've got the PBS special "History of Broadway - narrated by Julie Andrews" all cued up, just for you!
(alan)
it doesn't look good for showtune girl. who will come to her rescue? r there no heros left in [insert ficticious urban name here]?
Rising from the chaos left in TV Guy's wake, with the fury of a thousand unread books comes... Culture Shock! Dressed in flowing black cape (crushed velvet of course), leather boots, silken white shirt (bought on sale at Macy's), buccaneer hat (with feather - is there any other kind?) and a mask to conceal his true identity (duh!), Culture Shock fights the misinformed and ignorant with a slight French accent to bring sophistication to the unfortunate masses. Armed only with a finely polished epee (with jeweled hilt - you get the idea) and his unfailing sense of style, he confronts the nefarious, unsavory, and rather unlearned TV Guy.While his attention is focused on rambling in a monologue about his plans for future world domination, Culture Shock installs his secret weapon - an upgraded version of the V-Chip - on TV Guy's own TV! The Culture-Chip or C-Chip only allows responsible, educational and moral programming to be viewed, effectively reducing the possible selections to 3 channels including CPAC, Canada's Political Channel even though it's programming borders on immoral. With his own TV viewing effectively cut off, TV Guy is powerless, being unable to broadcast mind-numbing idiocy to the citizens of F.U.N. (fictitious urban name) City! Well, then again there is still CPAC... Culture Shock locks the stunned TV Guy away with only some of the finest reading material to console him - Dickens, Shakespeare, Hemmingway and Douglas Adams.And what's to become of Showtune Girl? Well, show tunes were never really in style to begin with, and don't particularly add much sophistication to FUN City in Culture Shocks opinion, so she might as well just stay locked up with TV Guy.Protecting the wise, opinionated and well dressed citizens of FUN City, Culture Shock's work is never done. But for today at least, the city is a less garish place to live...
(adrian)
is this the end of showtune girl and tv guy? could it really be?
Monday, March 05, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
MY VALENTINE COME AND GONE
and how could i let Valentine's Day come and go without winning the prize for girl with the dorkiest Valentine's Day card:
and the winner is...
and the winner is...
and of course, there was the real live card only saying, "sorry, wrong number" with the biggest bunch of roses i've ever seen in my life!
you funny funny men. when will you learn that Valentine's Day is not a funny day? - k, well maybe for me it is. just don't try this on the other normal girls.
*hugs and kisses* to all. hope everyone had a side-splitting V-Day!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
THX MUMZ
me: i should be done around 11 tonight, if that's not too late for you
glenn: well, it's a good thing my mother lifted that curfew a few years back
me: yea - remind me to send her a thank you note
glenn: well, it's a good thing my mother lifted that curfew a few years back
me: yea - remind me to send her a thank you note
AN APPLE A DAY
it's funny that everytime you tell someone you're sick you get a different remedy. so far i've gotten:
- a dozen hugs - not so smart people, no matter how miserable i look! i'm contagious!
- a mamoth jar of chewable vitamin C - i'm suppossed to overdose on these i think.
- a suggestion to suck lemons - apparently lemon juice clears mucas
- Wolfgang Puck soup - the soup of all soups when under the weather
- a bottle of whiskey and a pack of Marlboro - heat the former and smoke the latter with tons of bedrest
and what are your remedies?
- a dozen hugs - not so smart people, no matter how miserable i look! i'm contagious!
- a mamoth jar of chewable vitamin C - i'm suppossed to overdose on these i think.
- a suggestion to suck lemons - apparently lemon juice clears mucas
- Wolfgang Puck soup - the soup of all soups when under the weather
- a bottle of whiskey and a pack of Marlboro - heat the former and smoke the latter with tons of bedrest
and what are your remedies?
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
JUST DESSERTS
rh: i'm gonna have the caramel brownie
me: i'm thinkin' banana tart
rd: mmm...pears
laura: i can't decide between the apple cake or the cheesecake
...
laura (to rd): so u'r the brownie?
rd: nope
laura (to rd): u'r the tart?
rd: nope
me: laura! enough with the stereo-types!
me: i'm thinkin' banana tart
rd: mmm...pears
laura: i can't decide between the apple cake or the cheesecake
...
laura (to rd): so u'r the brownie?
rd: nope
laura (to rd): u'r the tart?
rd: nope
me: laura! enough with the stereo-types!
Friday, January 26, 2007
$: FROM WHENCE IT CAME
i have a $5 bill that came from Newfoundland.
how do i know this?
i went to this website which was written on it: http://www.wherehaveibeen.com/
how do i know this?
i went to this website which was written on it: http://www.wherehaveibeen.com/
IT'S RAZZIE TIME AGAIN!
Just in time to pop the Oscar bubble, the list of nominees for the 27th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards have been announced.
The awards will be presented at the Ivar Theatre in Hollywood on Saturday, February 24.
see: (complete list of 2006 releases)
And the losers are...
Worst Picture:
Basic Instinct 2
Bloodrayne
Lady In The Water
Little Man
Wicker Man
Worst Actor:
Tim Allen, in The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause,The Shaggy Dog and Zoom
Nicolas Cage, in Wicker Man
Larry, The Cable Guy (Dan Whitney), in Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Rob Schneider, in The Benchwarmers and Little Man
Marlon Wayans & Shawn Wayans, in Little Man
Worst Actress:
Hilary Duff & Haylie Duff, in Material Girls
Lindsay Lohan, in Just My Luck
Kristanna Loken, in Bloodrayne
Jessica Simpson, in Employee Of The Month
Sharon Stone, in Basic Instict 2
Worst Supporting Actor:
Danny DeVito, in Deck The Halls
Ben Kingsley, in Bloodrayne
M. Night Shyamalan, in Lady In The Water
Martin Short, in Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
David Thewlis, in Basic Instinct 2 and The Omen
Worst Supporting Actress:
Kate Bosworth, in Superman Returns
Kristin Chenoweth, in Deck The Halls,Pink Panther and RV
Carmen Electra, in Date Movie and Scary Movie 4
Jenny McCarthy, in John Tucker Must Die
Michelle Rodriguez, in Bloodrayne
Worst Screen Couple:
Tim Allen & Martin Short, Santa Clause 3
Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit, Wicker Man
Hilary & Haylie Duff, Material Girls
Sharon Stone's Lop-Sided Breasts, Basic Instinct 2
Shawn Wayans & EITHER Kerry Washington OR Marlon Wayans, Little Man
Worst Remake or Sequel:
Little Man (Rip-off of the 1954 Bugs Bunny cartoon Baby Buggy Bunny)
Pink Panther
Poseidon
The Shaggy Dog Story
Wicker Man
Worst Prequel or Sequel:
Basic Instinct 2
Big Momma's House 2
Garfield 2: A Tail Of Two Kitties
Santa Clause 3
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Worst Director:
Uwe Boll, Bloodrayne
Michael Caton-Jones, Basic Instinct 2
Ron Howard, The Da Vinci Code
M. Night Shyamalan, Lady In The Water
Keenan Ivory Wayans, Little Man
Worst Screenplay:
Basic Instinct 2, Leora Barish & Henry Bean
Bloodrayne, Guinevere Turner, Based on the Video Game
Lady In The Water, M. Night Shyamalan
Little Man, Keenan Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, and Shawn Wayans
Wicker Man, Screenplay Adapted by Neil LaBute from a Screenplay by Anthony Schaffer
Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment:
Deck The Halls
Garfield 2: A Tail Of Two Kitties
RV
Santa Clause 3
The Shaggy Dog
LAST YEAR'S BIG LOSERS:
Worst Picture:
Dirty Love
First Look Pictures
Worst Actor:
Rob Schneider
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (Sony/Columbia)
Worst Actress:
Jenny McCarthy
Dirty Love
Worst Supporting Actor:
Hayden Christensen
Star Wars III: No Sith, He's Supposed to be Darth Vader Fox)
Worst Supporting Actress:
Paris Hilton
House Of Whacks (Warner Bros.)
Worst Screen Couple:
Will Ferrell & Nicole Kidman
Bewitched (Sony/Columbia)
Worst Remake Or Sequel:
Son Of The Mask
New Line Cinema
Worst Screenplay:
Dirty Love, Written by Jenny McCarthy
Worst Director:
John Asher / Dirty Love
Most Tiresome Tabloid Targets:
(New Category, Saluting the Celebs We're ALL Sick & Tired Of!)
Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Oprah Winfrey's Couch,The Eiffel Tower & "Tom's Baby"
see: (the 2005 nominations)
Friday, January 19, 2007
PINK SLIP
L (flicking her umbrella at D.): i'm so sorry, i didin't know there was water on it. i really didn't mean to, please don't fire me
me: i'd like to see how that ROE would look - reason for dismissal: for getting my pants wet.
me: i'd like to see how that ROE would look - reason for dismissal: for getting my pants wet.
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